Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
