I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
