i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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