I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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