also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
