I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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