Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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