Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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