the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
