Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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