those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
