i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
