do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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