I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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