woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
