i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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