i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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