They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize