can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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