and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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