So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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