they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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