Will you blow on my dice?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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