Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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