Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
