she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
