I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
