yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
