i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
