if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The air taste purple.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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