their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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