we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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