So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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