I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
