im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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