so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
