I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Randomize
