At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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