At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
