There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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