i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
