Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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