I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a search helicopter?!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When are your genitals available?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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