the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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