we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
