Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
