dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
