good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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