this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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