some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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