Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
