What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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