I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
