Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
