so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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