I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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