You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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