We're facebook friends in real life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
