As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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